how to tell if she’s gay based on what music she likes: a guide for men who read pitchfork

szoy:

• girlpool: 40% chance she’s gay
• pwr bttm: 50% chance she’s gay, 50% chance she’s straight but freaky
• car seat headrest: this one is a tossup but she’s absolutely depressed
• mitski: 50% chance she’s gay, 100% chance she won’t date you
• screaming females: ask if she’s aware marissa paternoster likes women. if she already knew, she’s gay
• st. vincent: see above
• courtney barnett: harold,
• the internet: Harold,
• sufjan stevens: 70% chance she’s gay, 99% chance she cries daily
• angel olsen: she’s EXTREMELY in touch with her emotions and if she is gay you’ll probably get that vibe from her immediately
• frank ocean: 25% chance she’s gay, 25% chance she’s figuring it out
• porches: she’s probably straight but she’s been Hurt By Men
• jenny hval: honestly who the fuck knows
• against me!: if she prefers their early stuff, 50/50. if she likes their new stuff, ask if she still listens to my chemical romance. if yes she’s gay
• blood orange: if she also listens to carly rae jepsen then she’s gay