once upon a time – Broke Bohemian

Isaac: what do you want me to do about Hook? Is he a hero or a villain?
Rumple: ugh well ALLEGEDLY he’s a hero now
Rumple: total crap if you ask me
Rumple: don’t make him a villain though, he’ll only swagger around all dark and dangerous and people will think he’s cool
Rumple: make him a coward, a lowly deckhand or something, who can’t use a sword and is too scared to pick one up
Rumple: and make him less handsome
Isaac: uh well I can’t change how people look, that’s genetics
Rumple: drat
Rumple: can you make him shorter? Or me taller?
Isaac: no can do, sorry
Rumple: drat
Rumple: at least mess up his hair in a way that’s NOT sexy
Isaac: not sure that’s possible…
Rumple: whose side are you on?!
Isaac: sorry! It’s not my fault he looks so good when he’s scruffy!
Rumple: ugh
Rumple: oh I know
Rumple: make it so he’s clueless and shy around women and never gets laid
Rumple: ooooh ooooh AND
Rumple: make him allergic to rum
Isaac: now you’re just getting petty
Rumple: I AM NOT JEALOUS OF HIS PIRATEY PERFECTION SHUT UP AND WRITE